Change

Everything has changed. Again.

I'm in a new place, with different people, setting up home yet again, somewhere new.

Please don't get me wrong, this is all very exciting and adventurous.

But I had imagined that this type of thing would get easier the more I did it.

In fact, the opposite is true.

It's hard to believe that compared with this, moving across the Atlantic on my own to live and work with complete strangers for almost a year in a country I'd never been to before, seemed positively easy.

Each time I am uprooted, more heart strings are pulled, and feelings of being unsettled and anxious resurface once more.

Admittedly, having been here four days now, I have certainly settled in well and I honestly love my house mates and already the ridiculous amounts of fun and creativity that have ensued.

But knowing that this would happen, didn't seem to help the initial sting of change and all that comes with it.

The season has changed.

Autumn is here.

A new year has begun.

Still, I can and do rejoice for my God is with me; faithful and unchanging, He remains the same and by my side through all of this and I know I am in safe, capable and loving hands.

Praise be to God.

Irresistible Revolution #4

I've just got back from an evening at church, with Shane Claiborne and the Rend Collective Experiment on their Upside Down Kingdom Tour.

My mind is buzzing.

Before the evening started, I was also buzzing, with a mixed sense of excitement and nervousness.

Excitement because I've heard how awesome the Rend Collective are, and because I'm part way through one of Shane's books, he's a respected author and speaker that is renowned throughout the world for his missional heart and lifestyle... I suppose I am a little ashamed to say that I do get swept up in the awe of celebrity culture (if awe is the right word..). I can honestly say though, that this is something I'm working out with the LORD because I know that it's not really OK.

Anyway.
And nervousness because I honestly expected that Shane would come across as 'holier than thou'... Probably with some right to do so.

But he didn't. At all. He was genuinely and astonishingly humble. He was just so normal. And modest.

And very, very funny.

Dressed in his usual baggy attire, he told story upon story of experiences he'd had with the homeless in Philadelphia, with Mother Theresa in Calcutta, and numerous other stories of kids and people who he'd loved with the love of God, in the way he knew how to. Whatever that looked like at that moment in time. Just meeting needs, prefers others above himself, loving his neighbour.

But he didn't preach in a way that made the congregation feel guilty.

No, he spoke with joy and encouragement. He laughed and told jokes and the funny stories where God stepped in to a situation in quite unbelieveable and amusing ways!!

The abundant life Jesus calls us to isn't boring or dry. It's exciting, perhaps a little dangerous, on the edge, fun, joyous and FULL!

There's a lot I've been left thinking about. Hence the buzzing mind.

I took notes (always good, as I have a brain like a sieve!) so I'm just gonna put don't down some quotes from Shane's talk that stood out to me and perhaps and the days go and I get time to process them I'll write more fully about them (have put in bold ones that have particularly stood out!!):

'Christians should not be normal. They should constantly be questioning the patterns of the world.'

'The best things in life should be given away.'

No one is above reproach. And none of us are beyond redemption.'

'The closer we are to God, the less we want to throw stones at people' (my actual fave! In the light of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. So challenged about this one, and think it's very true.)

(quoted from the Iraqi guy Shane had a convo with, in reply to Shane's comment 'I'm surprised at how many Christians there are here) 'This is where it all started. America didn't invent Christianity, you know. It only domesticated it. We're praying for the church in America.'

'It's not a question of whether or not we'll be extremists, but of what sort of extremists we'll be. I want to be Extreme for love.'

'God doesn't want to change the world with out us' (another fave... so when we're asking 'Why doesn't God do anything about all the bad things in the world, we should then be asking ourselves why we aren't doing anything about all the bad things in the world - since He's given us the mandate and His Spirit, to go do something about them!!)

And finally, in answer the the question, Where do we start? Shane answered:

- Start small.

- Have a vision for family bigger than biology.

- in Matt 25, when Jesus asks us questions about our life, the questions aren't doctrinal. They're relational and practical, did you feed the hungry, clothe the naked, tend the sick, visit the imprisoned, house the homeless? Bear that in mind!

Phew.

So much deep stuff tonight. Along with an incredible set from the Rend Collective. Talented, Worshipful, fun musicians using their gifts for God's glory and to edify the church.

Beautiful.

There has definitely some stuff been stirred up in me and God has and is pointing out a few areas for my 'starting small'...

Starting today.

(make sure you have a listen!)

Out of the mouth of babes

My next door neighbour's Grand-daughter is six years old. Her name is Lucy.

Yesterday afternoon when she got back from school, she came round to our house to listen to me play guitar for a while (she has a guitar too, and hopes to start having lessons soon).

I played for her a song I wrote from Psalm 113 about giving God all the praise He is due.

Let the name of the LORD be praised,

both now and forever more.
From the rising of the sun, until the night falls.

He will be exalted over all the nations,

His glory above the heavens.

Who is like the LORD our God? Not one!
Hallelujah, praise the LORD!

Not to us, LORD, not to us

But to Your name be the glory

Because of Your love and faithfulness.

I wasn't sure whether she would understand it, but it was short and sweet and she seemed to enjoy it!

As she sat on the sofa, we talked about her day and school and the band she's in with two of her friends. She sang to me two of the songs they've written at breaktime, zero to twenty and I used to be a dragon.

This kid is one sweet, creative little bean.

She went on to tell me the story she wrote last week in her literacy class, about a dragon (common theme!) who couldn't find his mother, and she embellished it with different voices for each character. She hopes they'll read it out at the assembly her class is doing next Wednesday. Her line in the assembly (which she already knows verbatim) is 'Now would you please put your hands together and bow your heads and say this prayer with us'.

She also told me about how much she loves learning about space and the solar system. She can name all 9 planets in order, which they don't learn in school until year five she told me! And then she explained the Big Bang Theory to me...

'Before the big bang there was nothing. There was no time or people or air, there was just nothing. And then I don't know what, but something just sort of, exploded. And then there was the world. And eventually humans came, after the dinosaurs...'

This little six-year old loves learning and reading books. She soaks up information like a dry sponge, and can tell you all about what she's read. She's beautiful and so advanced for her age.

But her words struck me. Like I was being hit with a big stick.

'before... there was nothing...'

She's read in one of these books, that before the world came into existence there was absolutely nothing. And out of nothing, something exploded and the world was created.

That's all.

She went on to tell me more about her day, but I couldn't leave it like that. Believing that there was just nothing. But how do you start a conversation about God with a six-year old? How do I correct her, and tell her that the book wasn't exactly right in saying that there was 'nothing'?

I almost held my tongue.

But then I thought of her, growing up, and never hearing about or getting the chance to believe in our great God. I thought of her as a teenager, coming over to tell me about her day at school, and the chance of the conversation ever turning to God, when she's telling me that Science is her favourite subject and the details of the Big Bang Theory, and about boys and music etc.etc.etc.

What better time than this to introduce her to Him? To put her straight on some of those details that the book missed out.

So I asked her about the line she has to say in her assembly next week and when they pray at school, does she know who they pray to? She said 'Oh no one in particular but this is what we say...' I can't remember the prayer she recited, but it started off 'May God grant us....' and went on for about 8 lines.

I told her that when she prays that she's talking to God. We spoke about Him for a little while. She believes in Him and has read the Bible before, and we talked of how He lives in Heaven but also here on Earth with us, and that He lives inside those who ask Him to live in them. He helps us live our lives and we can talk to Him by praying. And I told her that before the Big Bang, when there was nothing, the Bible actually tells us that there was something; there was God. And He created the Earth and that was probably a Big Bang!

Her little face lit up as she understood, and that 'I don't know how but something sort of exploded' all of a sudden made sense to her. She concluded that God must have made the world and humans because He was lonely...!

And there the conversation ended, because she's six and her attention span, although unusually long, is still that of a six-year old!

She wanted to see the snails, and finish her blueberry muffin, and see if by lying down on the lawn she could spot the baby blackbird who has been living in the bush at the bottom of our garden...

Then she went back next door to say hello to her Grandad (apparently on arrival at their house she ran straight up the drive and said hi to my dad, before coming over to find me!)

...

I came home later that evening, and my mom said she saw Pauline (Lucy's Grandma) earlier. She told her that when Lucy went in after being round ours, she wrote a song about Jesus.

I thought about it for a while, (I am currently thanking God for prompting me to talk to her about Him when He did!!) and realised that throughout the entire conversation, I hadn't spoken about Jesus. In my song I sang 'LORD' and we'd only spoken about 'God'.

She'd gone away and written a song about Jesus.

I can only think that it was the Holy Spirit giving her the words and connecting the dots!

Matt 21:15-16 - But when the chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful things he did and the children shouting in the temple area, "Hosanna to the Son of David," they were indignant. "Do you hear what these children are saying?" they asked him. "Yes," replied Jesus, "have you never read, "'from the lips of children and infants you have ordained praise'?"

Amen!

The children knew who He truly was, even thought the chief priests and teachers of the law didn't.

Oh and I've learned a lesson through all of this.

Christ, His death and Resurrection are essential to the Gospel.

It's only through Him we have access to the Father.

Telling people about Father God only is only telling part of the truth!

It's like telling a man lost in a desert and dying of thirst, that there is an oasis, a fresh spring of water to re-hydrate and refresh him! But then not telling him where it is or how to get there...

Plenty of people today believe in a 'god', some even believe in Father God, but they don't know Jesus.

Without Him, we can not truly know the Father.

Irresistible Revolution #3

I now carry Irresistible Revolution with me in the bottom of my bag when I go out, in case I get a spare moment and a chance to get stuck in. As well as my bookmark, loose sheets of notepaper mark my pages so I can write notes as I go, on parts that particularly stick out to me or challenge me. I'm really making an effort to not give up reading this one!

To date, I have read up to page 39 (which consists of the Foreword by Jim Wallis, Introduction, The Authors Note and the first few pages of Chapter One). I wanted to blog some of my thoughts to help me properly digest what I'm reading, so I'll post a quote and let my thoughts run on it..

‘The whisper cries out for God to save the church from us Christians and breathe new life in to the aging body.’[1]
I think the reason this passage stood out is because of the 'saving the church from us Christians' part. Firstly, it makes me think of the quote from Brennan Manning, 'The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians - who acknowledge Jesus with their lips, and walk out the door and deny him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.' It makes me sad. Sad to think that I'm probably one of the Christians that is being spoken about here... But secondly, it makes me think that surely, all Christians can not be represented here. There are some who have got it right, who are so stained with the mark of Christ, so full and over-flowing with the Spirit that the joy of God in them bubbles over and reaches out to those around them, like a breath of fresh air. If the whole body was 'aging' and decaying, we wouldn't be bearing fruit would we?

‘New prophets are rising up who try to change the future, not just predict it.’[2]
This makes me excited and nervous..
Excited because to me, this is a sign that God is moving and that people are taking Him and their gifts seriously, these 'new prophets rising up'. Excited because change is occurring. And because prophets tell of what God is doing and going to do and we get the chance to be involved in this.
But it makes me nervous because prophets were the ones who God sent when Israel was in a state, ignoring Him, and in desperate need of rescuing. I know the world is in that state already, but most people aren't listening to the prophets. A lot of people don't care.. It also makes me nervous because Jesus warned us about false prophets and it's our responsibility to discern what is true from what is false...
Harold Camping for example, whilst in essence doing the right thing by investing time and finance to warn people about the end times, was false in predicting the date and time of Christ's return, and his eschatology was debatable... But his example does lead to questions like, what are we seriously doing to warn people of Christs return? And what else are we doing other than informing people of the after-life? Are we loving and serving? Are we meeting the needs of the needy? Providing for our children in the future? For our children’s children…? Are we showing people the life of joy and freedom that is available to us today, not just in the future?

‘The truth is that much stands in the way of God’s will for the world.’[3]
Yes. Earthly, material things. But Christians too probably.

‘If I’m awesome we have a problem… only God is awesome.’[4]
Originally I was worried about what the book was gonna be like, and what Claiborne's attitude was gonna be. I didn’t really know what to expect, but figured that he might take the view that he’s right and I’m probably wrong, and that I need to be a better Christian so here’s how to do it... I'm coming to realise that that's my default way of thinking when faced with someone who I assume to be superior to me in theology / spirituality / intelligence / general life cirmcumstnace etc.etc. That I'm gonna be told that I'm wrong, and I should do better.
Anyway, perhaps this is why this phrase stood out to me coz already throughout the book, it's clear that Claiborne thinks of himself as very ordinary, and normal. He's down-to-earth and I haven’t detected a hint of an attitude anything like what I thought I might. He is honest, blunt, and challenging (even in the author’s note!) but he’s not arrogant and he knows that God is the only one worthy of glory and exultation through this.

OK so I've run out of time to write.. I'll continue the next time I get a moment! So far so good though I think, and I'm really enjoying this!

---

[1] Claiborne, Shane. The Irresistible Revolution (Michigan: Zondervan, 2006), 23.

[2] Claiborne, 24.

[3] Claiborne, 25.

[4] Claiborne, 27.

From the Kitchen...

You might be happy to know that the time I get off Uni is being put to good use! Slowly but surely I am working my way up the ladder of domesticated accomplishment and so far I think it's going very well.

I started during Easter break with with the most important thing: baking. Cookies, tiffin, rock cakes, brownies and other chocolatey treats... Then moved on to some essential main courses (similar level of importance to baking sweet delicacies but not quite) with lasagne and cottage pie. I also own a rice cooker which is helpful, so I am capable of using the three basic carbohydrates...

On the weekend, having finished uni for Summer and already begun to tackle the pile of ironing that's been building up since my return, I decided it was time to make my first Victoria Sponge. (This is my favourite type of cake and it seems like a necessary dessert to be able to make...)

It actually turned out really well and since it was quick and easy, I made another (this time with help from mom after she'd finished making fresh pasta). This one was even better, so we took it next door as a gift for our neighbour on her birthday. This was it:

The Victoria Sponge

The only challenge I am experiencing along this journey to domesticated competency is that in most cases, whatever I bake, I eat. And whenever I'm bored (which is currently quite often) I tend to flip through one of Delia's cook books to see what I can make. I had more desserts today than I did actual meals... I either need to take up some form of exercise, or find myself a different, less calorie-consuming pastime....!

Irresistible Revolution #2

I haven't yet got past the intro. It's a shame really coz I have lost the urge to just sit and read.

It's to be expected really, but I'm not sure why. I've only been a 'reader' for about 18 months now, and I have recognised already, the serious difficulty I encounter when I attempt reading factual / teaching / theological books.. I seem to only enjoy stories, tales, novels, poems, and the odd biography here or there (but creatively written and by about an interesting person!).

I have the desire to read them, but as soon as I start, I sub-consciously switch off and give up. Many a book has ended up at the side of my bed, collecting dust as I neglect to read it.

I feel like I should be reading books like this, but I just find them dry and although challenging, not massively inspiring or gripping... They don't capture me and can't manage to hold my attention.

It's a shame really, and it's not that I don't like the book, or that I don't intend ever to read it!!

It's happened with Velvet Elvis (Rob Bell), Don't Waste Your Life (John Piper), Courageous Leadership (Bill Hybels), Crazy Love (Francis Chan) and others until now this one, Irresistible Revolution (Shane Claiborne).

All well known and top selling authors.. but perhaps just not for me.

I shall persevere with this anyway, and see where I get to.

Watch this space!

Mark Driscoll on Twilight

I just watched this clip of Mark Driscoll talking about the Twilight Saga and similar books for written for preteen girls (his daughter's age) - click here to watch the clip. I laughed out loud quite a lot to be honest, he's a funny guy. But I actually think he's brought to light quite a serious topic and has some really valid opinions about it..

For the past 11 months, I've been so looking forward to the next Twilight movie release (Breaking Dawn) like you wouldn't believe. Just so I can go watch it before reading the book!

But having listened to this, I have to say that I'm thinking twice...

Irresistible Revolution #1

I finished my book this morning (Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers) and I don't know if you ever feel like this but I get it whenever I finish a good book.. it's like an insatiable thirst to keep reading.

So while I'm in this mood I'm gonna start (or attempt) Shane Claiborne's Irresistible Revolution.

I know quite a few people who have read this, who have been challenged and said great things about it.

But I'm gonna admit here that I'm nervous to start it. A little scared, if I'm really honest.

I think it's because I'm expecting to be challenged and caused to ask and answer difficult questions.. and I'm not sure I'm ready. I can't be challenged on something and then just go on with life normally and ignore it.. The book's tagline is living as an ordinary radical.

I'm not very radical. And as a bit of control-freak, routine-dependent sort of person (GOLD), the word 'radical' is not one I willingly or easily embrace.

Like I said, I'm not sure I'm ready for this.
But I'll try and see.

And already thinking about it, following Christ is radical. In today's world anyway. And if I'm doing it right. But I know this is a journey and by no means have any of us yet 'reached the goal' as Paul puts it. So I suppose I'm already there in terms of radicalness. I'm running the race already. And this book will give insight to the life of a guy who might be able to share a few tips..

And if now isn't the time to read it, I'll put it down for a while until it's right.

What I'd like to do (no promises though!) as I attempt to read this, is blog my thoughts as I go along. So I'm not gonna just power through this to tick it off as done and add it to my reading list, I'm gonna think about it and let it sink in.. and then blog what I'm thinking!

I had this idea when reading the first page:

Dedicated to

all the hypocrites, cowards and fools ... like me.

May we find the Way, the Truth and the Life

in a world of shortcuts, deception and death.

Already I am challenged because I put Claiborne on a pedestal.

My preconceptions of him, that came purely from ignorance and assumption, were that he would be amazing and righteous and have it all sorted.

This sorted that one out.

He is humble and admits that he is a hypocrite, a coward and a fool. Like me. That's what I feel like. Don't we all sometimes, I wonder? When he says ordinary radical, that's just what he is.

But we've got an extra-ordinary God :) and I'm reminded that it's Christ I am following, and trying to imitate, not Shane Claiborne!
Good thing to bear in mind as I go from here!!

And I agree wholeheartedly with his last two lines there. I'm reminded of the words to Jimmy Needham's Not Without Love benediction (click to listen to it on youtube)

"Now I finally see that Christ is what Christ offers"

It is only Christ who offers the Way where we know only shortcuts and dead-ends, the Truth when we know only lies and deception, and Life when all we know is death and decay...

Yes and Amen. I pray that I would come to know Christ more through this, and that He will shine through me as I go about living my life for, with and in Him.

Today

I'm not gonna write much coz I'm about to watch 'How I met your Mother' (thank you Freya and Dave Gilbert...) but wanted to share, very quickly, about the day I've had and the amount of things I managed to fit in to the last 16.5 hours of my life.

Here goes.

- 2 hour exam on New York. Wrote 2 essays. Finished first year of University. Boom.

- Lunch with Maddy. Discussed many important things, put the world to rights etc.etc. Ate lunch in Comus. YUM and cheap. Bonus.

- Practiced songs with James for the lovely Fran Clarke's wedding that's coming up in September. Starting to sound good (if I do say so myself)

- Found 45 minutes to sit and rest (thought that wasn't gonna happen today). Spent a pretty little time with God and read the end of Acts - don't know how I haven't managed to do that before today but actually love Acts. Paul is such a dude.

- Learnt to speak HTML. (although I'm not fluent and Shuker would be the first to remind me of this). But basic HTML then. Like, level I for beginners. I can change the font on the CU website now, OK? And made it pretty colours. That's basically all that matters, right? (p.s. thank you Gavin for teaching me, and Becca for humouring me. LOL)

- Feedback sesh with some of the Exec about the Christianity Explored course we've been running for the passed few weeks. Fed back (that's usually what happens at these meetings). Some good stuff learnt!

- An hours chill time with Miss Becca, mostly trying to decide what to wear and how to fix my hair for that evening. But lovely still. Also experienced Becca giving her first piece of fashion advice (what shoes I should wear with the outfit I eventually chose) - she made a very good decision.

- Spent the evening eating home-made curry and wonderful desserts at the Gilberts' with Becca, Abi, Nadine and Tamsin (as well as Freya and Dave!). Put the world to rights again. The conversation covered new music - the best way to combat the burn of a spicy curry - christian music - abi's amazing dress sense - Kendall Payne - rob bell - chapel ball - American Idol - American X-factor - Greenbelt - Glastonbury line-up - the student diet - Dave's awesome iPod playlist - the Harry Potter party - who wins: Matt Redman or Tim Hughes? - wedding dresses - weddings in general - hair styles (for chapel ball) - the girl out of Enchanted - Einaudi - who is Matt Damon (honestly, Nadine....) - How I met your mother - Fake eyelashes - Dying ones eyelashes (this bit freaked Becca out more than the wedding dress and hair styles convos) - etc.etc.etc.

- lovely bus journey back with the twins

- Home now and about to have my first ever experience of How I met your mother - I have high expectations now because I've been warned that it is very similar to Friends. But I have been persuaded that it is a successful friends-wannabe sort of sitcom and that I will like it and potentially love it.

Here goes.......

God at Work.

"I am with you always, until the end of the age." (Matt 28:20)

Jesus' promise to His disciples, and to us.

He is with us and He never leaves us.

"I will ask the Father, and he will give you another advocate to help you and be with you forever - the Spirit of truth." (John 14:16)

I know that God is with me all the time. In my head I know this and I cling to that knowledge, even when I can't feel Him. Even when prayers don't seem to get answered, or when promises aren't fulfilled as quick as I want them to be. Even when I don't feel happy, when I don't feel the joy of the LORD.

Good job my faith is not reliant on my feelings.

"Faith is...assurance about what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1)

And sometimes, faith is all I have. Sometimes I have to reach out anyway, even though I can't see or feel what it is I believe in.

But every so often, there comes a time when I do feel the presence of God, so gentle yet so real in my life. I don't cling to these experiences, but I enjoy them. I am refreshed and built up by them.

As we worshiped on Sunday in church, I knew He was there, I could physically feel His presence and felt His gentle nudging to trust Him, to step out. It's usually an emotional experience for me when God moves like that and I cry although I'm not sad. But there is just this peace, and contentment, and a gentle power.

Tonight, again, I could feel Him.

It's more than simply knowing in my head that God is there. It's knowing in my heart, with my heart. And it's knowing with every fibre of my being that there is more to this life that simply what is seen.

My friend Helen has recently joined our Exec Committee for CU. She is becoming a very good friend of mine. And over the time I have a known her, I've prayed for her a few times, that God would heal her back. She suffers with tension and pain in her lower back and has done for a few years. I think it's increased by stress too, so with exams over the past couple of weeks, and more to come, it's been a somewhat stressful and painful few weeks for her.

Tonight, our God who is Healer, took away the pain and tension she was feeling in her back and she was healed completely.

It's more than simply knowing the God is there. It's seeing it with my eyes, and experiencing it with others. It's seeing human frailty and weakness, restored and healed in Jesus' name by the One true God, who is living and active, and knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that it was the LORD at work. Amidst us.
What an honour.

And this God, lives in me.

What an honour.

I want this temple to be the best it can be for my LORD. Because He deserves my all and He is more than worth it.

A Day to Remember

I should reeeally be in bed now, but I just remembered that I went for a long walk with some friends this afternoon and took some lovely pictures :):) and I want to document them here before I head off to the land of nod...

I put the mycolor setting on to make the vibrant orange colours stand out even more, but I realise now that was quite unnecessary. The colours speak for themselves, as it were. They didn't require fancy camera work.

So much colour and life in the woods today. This picture reminds me of fairies or stars. The most beautifully scenery I've seen I think, in Keele woods of all places!!

'Creation's revealing your majesty...' Indeed it is.

Un-ripe pine cone? Covered in sap (my hands were sticky the whole way home) but very cute.

Not sure what sort of butterfly this is. But it was a caterpillar once upon a time, and that blows my mind. So beautiful.

Similarly beautiful, and intricate and tiny.

As was this little ladybug. Yet again another example of God's beautiful creation, intricate, functioning... amazing.

I'm sure Jon won't mind me posting this. (I hope!). He got baptised today :) what a joyful day it has been, celebrating in what God has made and what He has done for us!!

Hehe, some more of God's creations :):) my lovelies, after our stroll to starbucks yesterday.

In case you didn't already know what Starbucks was.

Still waiting.

So the World didn't end on Saturday. Jesus hasn't returned yet.

(in case you hadn't noticed.)

On Monday morning, the ears of Harold Camping's many generous followers will be tuned in to his morning radio show, waiting to hear how he will handle this whole situation of yet another failed rapture 'prediction'.

Now I am a firm believer in what Christ said when He told his disciples that 'No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father'. (Matt 24:36)

And a valuable lesson I learned a couple of years back taught me that our interpretation of Scripture never contradicts what the Word actually says.

But I have to admit that I prayed a lot on Saturday.

Just in case I suppose.

But mainly because I have a lot of friends who don't yet know Christ and wouldn't have been ready, had He returned that evening. Whilst I felt I was prepared, I knew people that weren't and that wasn't OK with me.

I had so many good conversations on Friday and Saturday. I talked through deep and sincere questions and fears with close friends of mine, about what might happen if Jesus did come back that night, about what would happen to them after that.. and I prayed and prayed that God would open their eyes for them to see Him and know the truth that can set them free.

I am still praying. But I am also praising God that there is still time.

The more I think about it, I feel like Paul when he writes to the Philippians. If I could be with Jesus now, there would be nothing better. But for every moment I am still here on earth and have breath in my lungs, I have time to share the Good News of Christ's death and resurrection with those who don't know.

The May 21st Apocalypse prediction was incorrect, but it certainly got people talking and renewed a sense of urgency within me that I should always have. My apathetic attitude towards people's salvation is simply not OK. This weekend I was reminded of that, and challenged to my core.

I am still waiting. But not passively. While I wait, there is still work to be done.

'The harvest is plentiful..' (Matt 9:37)

Season 8 Summary. (Because I can and I want to)

I watched The One with the Tea Leaves tonight.

Friends just never gets boring for me.

It's so good, I laugh out loud when watching, even if I'm on my own.

And I've come to realize, lately working my way through Season 8, that it is by far my favourite one.

I don't think any of the other seasons are so deliciously crammed full of excitement and life changing events as this one!

For the most part, Chandler is my favourite guy, and if I were a friends character I would quite obviously be Monica (mostly for the OCD streak). My favourite girl at this point is Rachel; aside from having amazing hair, and a very convincing fake pregnancy glow, she's just lovely. She's less winy and more chilled and did I mention that she has amazing hair?

The first episode of the Season is the denouement of Monica and Chandler's wedding, they both say 'I do' and of course everyone is happy! But then we find out that Rachel is pregnant with Ross' baby, and there's The One where Rachel Tells... And Ross freaks out for like a week. Eventually he gets over it though and again everyone is happy. Ross and Mona get together (holiday card, mix tape, key to his apartment ensue pretty rapidly). And then there's Brad Pitt's guest appearance (nuff said). And Joey's attempt to eat an entire Thanksgiving turkey... Soon after this, Joey takes Rachel on a date and ends up falling in love with her (- Joey in love is like the cutest thing ever btw. Ever.). Chandler takes a 'man' bath. Ross and Mona break up, because she 'goes away for a week and comes back to find that her boyfriend's pregnant ex-girlfriend [rachel] has moved back in with him' (this is so Ross doesn't miss anymore of the pregnancy.) Phoebe buys the Ms. Pacman game for Monica and Chandler. Rachel's boss tries to buy her baby although not really because Rachel just made that up so she and Joey would have something to talk about (Rachel's hair looks great still btw, and actually at this stage Phoebe's hair looks really good too.)

And that's where I'm currently at, but there's still some good bits to come (Monica's speech at her Parents 35th Anniversary, the baby shower and the numerous episodes that cover Rachel's seemingly never ending labour...)

Oh Friends.

You never get boring.

Well done to whoever decided all this excitement should occur in just one season.

:)

Deep fried ice cream goodness...

OK I did find a recipe for Fried Ice Cream this afternoon tho, which got me pretty excited for the time when I will no longer be sharing a kitchen with 22 other people...

As much as I shall really miss living in halls on campus, I am genuinely looking forward to going home and trying this. And also doing more baking. Lots of baking.

:)

(if you want to try this, here's the website that has the know how!

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/4hjU44/simplysogood.blogspot.com/2011/05/fried-ice-cream.html ENJOY!)

Since I'm not saying much, things must be going unsaid.

I'm feeling withdrawal symptoms from having not blogged in a while.. It saddens me to think that I willingly suppress in me the desire to write, in order to get to bed at a decent hour, or because I should be doing something valuable like studying or sending important emails.

And then I arrive at the stage where I am yearning to blog but have nothing to say. I am currently in this stage.

I haven't even taken any good photographs lately so I can't even upload a picture.

Goodness.

Right, I shall search my brain a little and find something to record...

...

OK so when I have thought of something, I'll come back and write later.

text-a-toastie

It is all sorts of necessary that i blog tonight.

For many reasons. But there is one, in particular, overriding, very incredible reason why i should overcome my current writing mode (i.e. 'just swallowed a dictionary' or 'writers block' - both due to recent essay deadlines) and blog about what just happened.

This is what just happened:

It may not seem like much, but let me explain!

Our Mission Coordinator, Becca, is very good at her role on CU exec (as are the rest of the team - but this story relates directly to her initiative!!). For the past few months, she has been contacting other CU's around the country and checking out their websites to get creative ideas of how we can be more missional, and bless Keele students in a practical way, whilst also creating opportunities to talk about our faith.

In order to make space for us to be intentional about this, we have made a tri-weekly schedule of our CU meetings.

Week 1 - ARK (Act of Random Kindness). Mission / service project / outreach on campus, and maybe an invite for them to join us the following week, which is:

Week 2 - Social. A time to hang out and fellowship together - every Society on campus has regular socials, and that usually involves heaving drinking, so we avoid that aspect and just enjoy a time where we can chill out and spend more time together, maybe go out for food or to the pub, or have a quiz or something along those lines.. and then:

Week 3 - Meeting. In this week we have a time of worship together, and teaching or discussion where we can really dig in to the Word and learn together about our amazing God!

So that's our new structure, and this week was a 'Week 1.' ARK.

Enter, 'text-a-toastie'.

I'm unsure as to what Uni we got the idea from, but having heard that it works verrrry well on a number of other campus', Becca introduced the idea to us. The last two times we've done an ARK have been making pancakes for people in blocks all over campus, and then washing up in kitchens (which is 2nd in the list of student appreciation, only to 'free food') both of which have been successful and great conversation starters. Tonight was sort of... well, a step up from these.

Lots (and lots!) of prayer and preparation went in to making this evening happen and it was just awesome to see the ways that God turned up.

Flyers, posters, a giant whiteboard outside the library and lots of facebook profile pictures helped get the word out about 'free toasties' on wednesday may 11th.

Between the hours of 7 and 9 tonight, anyone on keele campus could text in to request a toastie (with 2 fillings, cheese / tomato / ham / chocolate spread) and ask one question they have about God / Christianity / Life / the World etc...

And text they did!

Keele CU had the privilege this evening of spreading out across campus, serving and providing food to students, and giving an answer to / conversing about some of the most difficult questions that even we as Christians often struggle with.
Questions about life after death, sin and forgiveness, good vs evil, homosexuality and the church, amongst others flooded in and I couldn't help being inspired and somewhat emotional by what I saw and heard; the obvious craving for spirituality, for answers to hard questions, or just for opportunity to ask these hard questions and talk about possible answers if not the definite one... cravings for love and acceptance, for honesty, for someone to follow and look up to, for certainty in a life that is all over the place, for clarity and peace where there is confusion and hostility..

Christ offers all of this.

I have Christ to offer.

How can I keep Him to myself?

"You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.." Matt 5: 14-15

The light we have in us, is not to be hidden. The message we carry, we should not keep a secret.

I know I am blessed to be part of a CU that is so richly resourced and supported by students, by Keele itself and by the local church. I hope and pray we are using the resources we have efficiently and wisely and to their full potential and I am so very excited to see what God has in store for the rest of the year... If the past 5 months are anything at all to go by, Father will be growing and stretching us immensely as we continue to shine the light of Christ around Keele.

At the end of this long, but amazing day, I have to declare that God deserves all the glory for this and the success and fruit that has already and will come from this evening.

Hallelujah!

Did you hear about that guy?

I took a bit of artistic license here so some of the details aren't necessarily correct and obviously this is a fictional character / sign :P
I also have never lived in Biblical times so have little idea of what it really would have been like for a Jew during the weeks surrounding Jesus' death and resurrection.
But it was Easter so I had a little fun and got creative :)

The sign read,
“NO MORE LAMBS AND RAMS AND DOVES ON SALE”
Because, apparently, some guy died last Friday
And tore the veil in the Temple.
His name was Jesus.

Now all the righteous and religious ones
Have shut up shop and gone home to mourn.
“The Temple is closed until further notice” they said.

Well, that’s great.
Now there’s nothing to offer
And nowhere to offer it.
I am sinful, in need of cleansing.
What do I do now?

But the sign also said,
“ULTIMATE SACRIFICE MADE, SINNERS DEBT ALL PAID”

Apparently, this veil-tearing guy
Was a bit of a big deal.
And this is for real, some say He was the Son of God,
King of the Jews!
But wait… what?
We crucified Him?!
What have we done..?

Oh wow, apparently, while up there dying,
He forgave those who were crucifying Him.
And apparently, death couldn’t stop this guy.
On the third day, He came back to life.

But what does that mean for me?

If it’s true that this guy was born of a virgin,
And lived his whole life without even verging on sin,
If He really was the Son of God,
Then He would have been the perfect sacrifice.

If it's true that He really is alive now,
Maybe through Him,
we can finally step forward in confidence and see
In all His glory
Only by grace
Face to face,
Almighty
God.

For God desired communion,

As in, His Spirit and my Spirit together again.
A reunion!
Like the good old days
before Adam’s mistake
before Grandfather Abe
or Isaac or Jake or Big Mo or Dave.

Before all this,
apparently, God would walk
side by side with His people
through the garden
as the sun set.

Oh how I would love that.

And people are saying that this must be the guy
all the Prophets told us about.
The Christ.

I never thought I would live to see this day
But it seems that last week
The Saviour of not only Israel, but the entire world,
Did His thing and is still around here somewhere proving it!

I’ve got to see this…

…I’ve seen Him.
Fully alive,
With the scars to show that it was Him who died
up there on that tree,
on that cross.

And to receive the forgiveness He’s offering,
all you need to do
is repent and believe.

Well I do repent.
I fell at His feet and told Him
I’m sorry for my old ways,
For my sin, and my selfishness and for not changing.
But I thank you for your sacrifice, and I believe.

I have seen and I believe.
But He said once that
even better blessings are in store for
those who believe without seeing.

Amazing.

And underneath the sign, in small print
was hand-written in red ink
“I am the way and the truth and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”

Not Letting Go

You drew near to us

although we were scum and undeserving.

But we were yours

and you weren’t letting go

without a fight.

In fact

you weren’t letting go at all.

Betrayed with a kiss,

They beat and bound you

Lashed and ground you down.

Well, they tried.

But you uttered

not

one

word.

You weren’t letting go.

They crowned you with thorns

With ridicule and scorn,

Dragged you before the crowds

Who did the same all the more.

‘King of the Jews?’ they spat,

‘He’s not our King!

Crucify Him!’

So they took nails,

And they pierced you

your hands and your feet.

They hung you up there,

bleeding and cursed on a tree.

But You weren’t letting go.

They cast lots for your garments,

Tested and tempted you

To come down from there,

To save yourself,

To give up,

To let go.

But the only thing you were giving up

Was your Spirit

in to the hands of the Father.

Letting go of your life

as ransom for ours.

To save us.

You were pierced for our transgressions.

Crushed for our iniquities.

The punishment that brought us peace was upon you,

And by your wounds we are healed.

Broken, forsaken and yet still forgiving.

Oh righteous Christ,

full of grace, abounding in love

even at the point of death,

giving up your last breath,

You never let me go.

Lost In Wonder

OK so I'm uber excited because I recently re-discovered my favourite ever worship album (and I'm blogging about it whilst it's uploading to my iPod).

I'm not sure where it came from, it's be AWOL for a few years now but somehow it ended up in my car's CD case, I think when driving up to Burnley a few weeks back.. which meant a couple of hours of good music! Hurray!

Martyn Layzell - Lost in Wonder

It feels really quite old school, but apparently was only released in 2006.. my concept of time is a bit off I think!

And you know those albums that start off amazing with the best and most famous songs, and then as the tracks progress, they get worse and worse?

Yeh, this isn't one of those albums. Every time I listen to it I actually have the thought, "Oh yeah, I forgot this doesn't get boring - every song on this album is amazing!"

And then I get sad when it reaches the end so I usually listen again (hence the 2 whole hours of joy on the way up to Burnley in Feb!)

ANYWAY:

-if you've never heard it

-if you're looking for some awesome songs to praise our awesome God with

-if you appreciate seeeriously good harmonies (not quite as epic as Casting Crowns harmonies, but just as great to sing along to!)

-if you're all or none of the above

you should totally listen to this album and just try it out!

This is just my opinion, of course.

But I hope you get a chance to listen, and enjoy it as much as I do, and worship our Saviour while you're at it :)

Psalm 147:1

Praise the LORD.

How good it is to sing praises to our God,

how pleasant and fitting to praise Him!

(Even at half past midnight - it's always fitting to praise Him!)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Slices

Mine did not come out looking at all like the picture on the previous post. Haha.

Ready to bake..

Ready to eat..

(please note that mine don't have the Tulip back drop either, which obviously makes a difference.)

They do taste like cookies though. Which is a start. And OK cookies actually. Maybe even good. Like, not as good as Brenda's or Donna's, but good cookies all the same!

(Next time I'll add more chocolate chips though, and cook them on a lower temp for a longer time.. see I'm learning!)

In fact, I've judged them good enough to take round Mark and Vicky's tonight, for dessert. So they passed on that level. Plus Matty enjoyed one hot out the oven last night, and then another for his drive to college this morning. Double score.

Not bad for a first go, eh?!

Masterpiece #2. Get in. I don't have one for today though, unless (by some miracle) I finish this essay I'm writing..

I told my Nan today about the cookies, and about Monday's Lasagna success too, and she said, "Oooh you'll make a good wife one day!"

Thanks Nan, thank you muchly.

That is definitely in the Top 3 of what a girl wants to hear at my age. (I'm not joking!)

The sun is shining today too - it's over 20 degrees outside.

And I am 400 words in to my 1500 word essay. Better than nothing!

What a happy little bunny I am today!

Mennonite Girls Can Cook.

I am not a Mennonite.
However, I did live with a Mennonite family for a year and can therefore somewhat appreciate their sense of community and their attitude to cooking and/or baking good food.

http://mennonitegirlscancook.blogspot.com/

This site gets almost 4500 visits every day.

I'm thinking I may be one of those visitors, looking for some inspiration over the next couple of weeks - especially since today's recipe is Chocolate Chip Cookie Slice.

(got this pic off the site - not my creation!

If I do end up making these I'll upload my pic although I

doubt they will look quite as d-lish as these..)

Oh gosh I will have put on so much weight by the end of these holidays....

Easter Break: day one.

OK firstly, my cousin just posted this to me on fb and it is incredible.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIhGxEdez98

Click and watch and be amazed all over again by the gospel.

(sometimes you need to hear it again afresh, right? I don't know how I get so blasé about all of this..)

Right, so now you've watched that.

Check this out!

Ready to bake...

Ready to eat..

It's a shame the photo doesn't do it huge amounts of justice! But trust me, it was good. Especially for a first ever attempt at making lasagna (from scratch might I add!).

In fact, I was so excited about baking today (and being all 'housewifey'!) I've had to stop myself from making a goal of 'creating a masterpiece a day' for the duration of my easter break..

(This would count as masterpiece #1, obviously.)

But I'm pretty sure after like 3 days I'd run out of things to make, or else run out of creativity or motivation.

And in all fairness, it would just be another way to procrastinate from getting my essays and revision done.

But we'll see what I can do, anyway.

Like I also made chocolate cornflake cakes for supper whilst watching Glee, for Mom and I to eat while watching Eclipse again.

(Can't think of a segway so this can be it!)

Last night I was reading Eat, Pray, Love (getting through it slowly - I'm almost half way through).

The story is written by Elizabeth Gilbert, and is about the year she takes out to travel and find herself and ultimately, get her life back on track. It's split in to three parts, and I'm in the second one - she is currently in India, living in an Ashram while visiting her guru (I know this sounds weird, you have to read it to understand but stick with me here!).

So last night I got to a part where she was admitting how hard she finds the act of meditation and I was so incredibly challenged by it, I couldn't wait to write it down and reflect on what she'd said.

"There's a difference between meditation and prayer, though both practices seek communion with the divine. I've heard it said that prayer is the act of talking to God, while meditation is the act of listening. Take a wild guess as to which comes easier for me. I can prattle away to God about all my feelings and my problems all the livelong day, but when it comes time to descend in to silence and listen. . . well that's a different story. When I ask my mind to rest in stillness, it is astonishing how quickly it will turn (1) bored, (2) angry, (3) depressed, (4) anxious or (5) all of the above."

What she said so resonated with how I feel most of the time (minus the angry and depressed parts).
Even when I sat with God this morning, and prayed and read the Word, I felt like this.

It's funny how in the times when life is crazy and hectic, I so crave that quiet time and just to hear God in the stillness.. and then when life calms down and I get some time to be still and listen, it becomes the hardest thing in the world for me to do!

I was listening to someone talk a few weeks ago, and he was saying that we can't or we shouldn't be bored with God.. and I agree with him on that. This is not so much that I am bored by or with God, it just feels more like I've got a case of ADHD of the mind - I can't be still long enough to simply sit and wait on God, and listen to what He's saying.

And yet God says, 'Be still and know that I am God'.

He spoke to Samuel while he was sleeping, and to Elijah in the still small voice.

And I want for Him to speak to me in the quiet, too.

But I know I have to listen in order to hear..

It's encouraging, though, to know that others feel like it too (I know it's only in a book, and Elizabeth doesn't have a relationship with God through Christ like I do, but it's encouraging still..)

Even in Romans 7, Paul talks about not doing what he wants to do, and doing what he doesn't want to do and while he's not talking about listening, I think it's applicable here.

So this is something I've asked God for help with, and I'm hoping for change.

:)

It's a good thing my God is in to change!

That's enough musings for one day I think.

G'night!

Cool kid

So I've re-vamped my lyrics page somewhat, and I'm starting to add videos of me doing little acoustic versions of stuff I'm writing. (cheesy I know, but all the cool kids are doing it so..)

I also seem to have taken an unusual fancy to writing songs that are like 1minute 30seconds as well... like, a verse and a chorus, or two verses and then it's done. (not sure if all the cool kids are doing this though?!)

Admittedly it could be down to laziness, but I genuinely think it's coz some of the stuff I've written lately just fit nicely in a few lines and I found it really difficult to add to it (to make it a conventional pop song).

I've got about 3 of them. Short and sweet :)

And I think for now I'll stick with what I have and maybe at a later date something will fill them out.

Who knows?!

Post-it Note Promise

I should be in bed.

But since I'm not yet, i'll write a quick post :)

Just reflecting on my day (as one does, at half past midnight..) and I updated my facebook status to:

"today my day was beautiful, sunshiney, fun, long, tired, blessed, nerve-racking, exciting, filled with friends, surprising, God-given, emotional, busy, abundant, adventurous... all glory and thanks be to God :):)"

That just about sums it up.

Today has been filled with both a number of challenges and also many wonderful things. Things which I have thoroughly enjoyed and embraced and would do again in a heart beat, and things that could not be avoided but were necessary and will inevitably have caused me to grow, even though I would never choose them if given the option.

And therein lies one of the beauties of life.

The element of surprise!

Who (aside from God) knows what tomorrow is going to bring?

Every day I wake up and start my day with God, and I rarely know what's gonna come but I always know He's gonna be there with me.

And for that I praise Him.

For the past few months, I've had a post-it note that sits next to where my phone and keys live, and it reads:

"I am He who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you. I will sustain you and rescue you." Isaiah 46:4

The honest truth is, with all that is going on right now, I should be a mess. And perhaps I am to some extent.

But I know full well, that I am not doing this in my own strength. If I was, I would have already given up and gone home (and would probably be in bed already).

But Father God has made a promise, that He will sustain me.
And He is doing exactly that.

2 Corinthians 12:9 "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weakness, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

Here I am, boasting in my weakness. Knowing that most of this is a lot too big for me. And so I rejoice in the fact that Christ's power is made perfect in my weakness and He is quite happy to use me anyway, despite how little I am.

Are you feeling weak lately?

If so, rest in the fact that His power is made perfect through that very weakness.

His grace is sufficient.

Hallelujah!

Bitter Sweet

I'm sat at my laptop this evening, watching Do the right thing, a Spike Lee movie from the early 90s. (We're studying it in my New York class next week, I didn't just randomly choose to watch it..)

I can't believe how shocking it is.

It's about racism in Brooklyn and at first I wasn't sure what to expect from it coz it started off pretty funny.

But by three-quarters of the way through the movie, when the fight scene broke out, I realised that there was no way it was going end happily.

Probably not one I'd recommend but it definitely makes you think about the state of our world..

This quote roles up before the closing credits.

On a lighter note though, I'm currently reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert and I have officially caught the travelling bug.

I suppose that my time in Canada, and ventures to a few different states in the US already mean I'm prone to catching said bug.. but in the book, she spends three months in Italy simply because she wants to learn to speak Italian.

Quiero viajar a España porque quiero hablar mejor español..

I'm not sure if this is how they would say it exactly. But (translated) 'I want to visit Spain because I want to speak better Spanish'...

I've been thinking about it for a while, and I've also fully accepted that there is no way (well, not no way*, but you get me!) that this will be possible this year.

Now, I've been to Spain a few times before, but quite obviously, tanning by the pool all day, walking along Spanish beaches during the evening, even shopping til we drop in Barcelona and whatever else ensues on two-week family holidays, hasn't seemed to help me much with learning their language.

No, I mean, one day, maybe, I think it would be nice to spend some time there (I haven't figured out how long yet), away from the tourist attractions, out in the country somewhere, immersed in the culture, eating proper Spanish food and getting a real opportunity to speak the language..

Ahh, one can dream, right?

:)

Buenas Noches, mis amigos.

*Luke 1:37 - For with God, nothing shall be impossible.