Day 38 & 39 - Baptisms, Rock jumping, and catching wildlife. #45daysofsummer

Last week was my intended week of rest, but it has actually turned out that this week is looking more like that. There is a lot of room in the schedule for time to rest (descansar). I'm really enjoying it so far! I've had time to read (I'm reading A Thousand Splendid Suns at the moment and it's heart wrenching but really good and so I love that there are a spare few minutes every so often, which means I can have a quick lie and down and read of another chapter or two!!)

On Sunday, a few of us made the journey back to León for baptisms at the church there. 8 people were baptised, including Bianca and Robert (the daughter and son of the family I stayed with). It was quite formal and there were definite differences between baptism services that I have previously been too (for example, they all had to dress in white, and they can't take communion until after they are baptised so that was their first time taking it) but there were also lots of similarities (the baptism tank was under the stage, they all shared their testimony of how God has been at work in their life and why they are getting baptised, they also say the same phrase only in Spanish, 'on confession of your faith, I baptise you in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit'). Interesting service (although also very long - just over two hours) but a good experience!

Bianca sharing her testimony

About to be dunked.

Robert giving his testimony.

Afterwards, we hung out with a larger group of the young people from the church as a kind of after party with nibbles, before taking a stroll to the park. Thankfully I had my mini suncream bottle with me so didn't burn because it was so hot. Before getting the bus back to Toral, we swung by McDonald's for a McFlurry (they are pretty much exactly the same as in England only the staff are kindly willing to give you extra sauce so I had Oreo with Caramel sauce (McFlurry de Oreo con salsa de caramelo) mmmm...

That evening, we tried to watch 'In Time' but it was getting really late and some of us were feeling pretty tired so we called it a night.
On previous nithts, we have played games together and I was quite excited to be able to co-lead one of the games (thankful for my experience helping in Resound with the young people at Zion which has meant that I have a bank of ideas for games stored in my head!) I was all ready to explain it to everyone, nervous, but felt I had the words to explain the rules and the aim of the game, but the girl leading the session got a bit carried away and explained it all before I got the chance too.. But the intention was there! And I got to explain parts of it to different groups.

Explaining to members of each group what their task was!

A different game that night - groups had to act out a famous story for people to guess what it was. I think this was my favourite ever rendition of Little Red Riding Hood. Very impressive!

Actually, something else that I've noticed and really enjoyed about the atmosphere here, (and I don't know if it's just because they are away at camp but..) the adults are well up for getting involved with games, activities and action songs! 

Yesterday, we made a one and half hour drive to a 'local' lake (Lago de Sanabria), and in the sweltering heat, feeling rather travel sick, I sure was hoping that it would be worth it.

It was.

The water was FREEZING though. They say 'helada' to describe reeally cold, which is like saying it's as cold as ice cream! We had packed lunches and basically just sat around, chatting, eating (we had yellow watermelon again today - had to take a picture!!), swimming a bit, the kids were catching fish and frogs and snakes (!!) And we swam out to those rocks on the photo. People were jumping from them and I really tried but I just couldn't do it. It's one thing that I hope I will be able to do one day in my life, but sadly today wasn't the day. I'm not frightened to be up at any height really, but the prospect of jumping from that height is just too much and my legs won't move. Even though my head reeeeally wants me to and I can think of how excited I would be after doing it, and how I'd probably really enjoy it, and how it's not really that far down to jump anyway.. it doesn't matter. I can't jump.
Perhaps one day. I hope one day. It is so frustrating but something I haven't managed to conquer yet.

Sandía amarilla. Mmm :)

Joel with the frog he caught. He also caught four fish in a bottle and brought them back to camp, I think with the intention of keeping them as pets. But this morning, I was told that they died over night. Sad times..

Joel's brother, Josué, with the snake!!!

With Betsy, little Elsa and Maria. Look ridiculous in my hat but it's been a necessary burden in my time here, to protect my head as my hair does a very bad job of that!

The journey back (less car sickness this time) had us singing Musicals and Disney songs - the girls singing the Spanish versions and me singing the English versions, and Maria's dad in the front starting off songs by the Beatles and other old school famous tunes!

Today I have heard rumours that we may be going to some kind of water park but it is a little over cast and I'm wondering whether that will still be the plan as sometimes, weather like this is suggestive of a heavy summer storm that hits out of the blue! We shall see..

Day 33 - Deciding to make a change. Why not? #45daysofsummer

When I heard last night that we were going to the beach today, I was well excited! When I heard that it was just Mihaela, Bianca, Betsy and me, I was even more excited. Girls day out at the beach?! Wooo!

Then I heard it was a two and a half hour drive away.
Less excited at that point.

However, today has been a truly wonderful day!
Admittedly, I slept a lot of the way for the journey there (hey, what's new?! Everyone knows I sleep in the car all the time! And I did warn them beforehand..) But we stopped on the way there, part way up a mountain, almost 2000m above sea level on the winding roads that took us to Gijón, to marvel at the breathtaking views.

It was freezing. But it was gorgeous.

We continued the journey (I went back to sleep) and before I knew it, we were in Gijón. Ready to party.
Well, we were certainly ready for a day on the beach at least, but the sky was rather cloudy and it looked like a storm was brewing in the distance. We braved it anyway!

Waves!

Waves enough for surfing!

And other people with the same idea as us - who cares about the storm?! We're at the beach!

And something occurred to me today, that I hadn't thought of up until now on my travels. There are some definite challenges about coming to new places on you're own and trying to make friends when you can't fully function in their language.. But there are some really great opportunities too.
I realised today, that even though I have spent almost 10 days with these girls, they still don't know all that much about me (herein lies both the challenge and the opportunity). I wasn't about to spoil the party and tell them how much I liked the look and idea of the beach, but that actually I really don't like sand or sea pretty much at all... So I didn't tell them. And therefore had to pretend at first (or persuade myself) that I did actually like it. They knew no different. And rather than it feeling like lying, it occurred to me that I had a chance here to start something new, to change something, to try something that I had previously not liked, amongst people who were getting to know me and find out for myself that I don't altogether hate it. In fact, I loved it!
We only spent about an hour, maybe a little longer, on the beach. And a lot of that time, Betsy, Bianca and I were in the sea. First paddling, then running into the waves! And the waves were big! Huge, crashing, salt-in-your-mouth-nose-eyes-and-everywhere kind of waves. I tried to keep my hands and face out of the water initially, but it was impossible so I gave up and in that letting go, ended up having so much fun, getting drenched and finding out that I can enjoy something that I have previously dreaded! Such an amazing feeling!

We got dry (freezing whilst doing so!) And went in search of other bonitas vistas (beautiful views)...

Salty hair!

Getting dry before lunch.

Ideal spot for viewing the coast.

 

Selfie necessary.

Another, more smiley selfie, necessary.

Host-mom, Mihaela! She drove us all the way, and around the city, and looked after our stuff while we swam. Superstar. 

Oh and then we got chocolate con churros. Oh yes. 

Something else that's new today. I also decided to be brave try and start speaking my thoughts out loud. As yet, I haven't really been quick enough to translate a passing thought in to Spanish and speak it out loud in time for it to still be relevant so I've just not bothered.. I have managed a couple of witty responses and sarcastic comments, but today tried to forget about making mistakes and put in to words some ideas and thoughts I had at different points in the day - about how funny it is hearing little kids speaking Spanish, asking more about where we are and verbalising geneal observations.. And its amazing how much new conversation and vocabulary it opened up! Today felt a lot richer in so many ways. :)

I only slept for a short amount of time on the journey back. Mostly, I watched out the window as we passed yet more stunning scenery. We drove through various mountainous regions, and I kept thinking of Moses and wondering if these were anything like Mount Sanai.. Probably not, but I liked the thought and felt close to nature and to God! Particularly with all that is in the news if late, I just feel so thankful and so very blessed. Trying not to take these experiences for granted.

Day 12 - tourists in Marburg, lots of rain, lots of laughs. #45daysofsummer

Our first morning at Waldi and Ruth's involved a lovely long lie in (in a very comfortable bed!) followed by a typical German breakfast.

Fresh bread, eggs, cheese, avacade, cucumber, tomatoes, jam... Mmm! 

After a couple of hours chatting and catching up some more, putting the world to rights etc.. we wandered in to Marburg, and looked like proper tourists with our cameras out as W&R told us about the history of the city and other interesting facts.

Walking by the river.

The weather was gorgeous and the scenery beautiful..

 The church and castle at the top there, is where we were headed.

 Streets of Marburg.

R&W being cute :)

Jessie and I having a proper tourist picture!

Higher up the hill, looking down at the city.. We were actually walking up to see Landgrafenschloss but I didn't get any photos on my phone so will have to wait til September to see those!

The hill was quite steep, we stopped for a brief rest!

 Beautiful gardens at the top of the hill. They were telling us about a festival here a few weeks back that sounded like so much fun! There's a big outdoor cinema up there too!

On ur way back down, we passed the house that the Grimm brothers lived in for a year while they were in Marburg. They didn't like the city, and were very open about that.

They took us to an adorable little cafe called Die Pause (the break) where we ate delicious food and sat for another few hours, talking, laughing, enjoying ourselves!

I had goats cheese with apple and honey, and some curry lentil soup. Jessie's chips were incredible (that's not an overstatement) and we all helped her to eat them haha!

After a spot of shopping, we made a start for home. That's when the rain started. And carried on. We found shelter under some places, and when it eased off we continued on. But then... Oh how it rained. Absolutely chucking it down. To say we were drenched would be somewhat of an understatement. It was hilarious. We had to walk for about 15 minutes in it as well. In fact, while I write, our clothes are still drying on the airer despite it being like 15 hours later... 

So we dried off, and curled up on the sofa and Waldi played guitar and we all talked some more. It was like the old times, but new times. We talked about how much we have all changed and lots else. Then we had homemade bread (thrown together by Waldi) and salad for a late night snack before heading off to bed. It has to be said, I have not laughed so much as I have today in months. In years potentially. Its been fabulous, and funny. And really freeing. Thank you Jesus!! :):)

Day 10 - Flying, cute music and time to reminisce. #45daysofsummer

Well folks, we are here in Germany and our trip has started pretty darn well!

We haven't been able to get WiFi yet but hope to rectify that today. I am currently sat in a flat in Münster with my dear friend Corinna (who just woke up) and my other dear friend Jessie (who is still sleeping), on a laptop with a German keyboard so the keys are in funny places and I may spell things wrong - please forgive me!

I'm going to give you a quick, bullet point overview of our day yesterday due to time and tiredness and sadly there will be no pictures on this post (although we did take lots last night!) as I can't upload the but will sort that at a later time!

• The clouds on the flight here were AWESOME! Gutted that I had stowed my camera up in the hold so couldn't take any pictures but take my word for it. 
• We (I) had a a small spell of travel sickness as we got off the plane in Germany. All I can say is that the German's have very aptly placed toilets, and I made it just in time! :( my poor tummy. But I'm all good now!
• Apparently you can't get a stamp in your Passport if you're from an EU country. I did ask the kind German border man nicely, but he replied, quite nicely "this is not possible." OK then.
• We have hired a beautiful little Ford Fiesta, which we have named Fifi. She's very stylish and her in-built SATNAV has been super helpful already! We haven't got lost yet :)
• We arrived at Corinna's in one piece and it was soooo good to see her! After a small tour of her cosy little flat, we moved swiftly to find some dinner and get to a local bar, where her friend was playing a gig. We met lots of Corinna's friends, I ordered drinks at the bar in German (somehow ended up with more drinks than I  asked for... but at least I tried!) and I do have some photos of the venue and of Fefa (Eva, who's gig it was and Janne who accompanied her - that's their band name). We bought their CD and some little postcards they had on sale. Very cute. Very lovely start to our adventures!

 Arrived at Corinna's

The concert we went to

Fefa performing

 Us with Eva.

• We went from there on to a local lake and had a slow walk around it, until after midnight (dirty stop outs.. I know!), taking in the beauty and sharing our stories from the past 5 years. That's how long I haven't seen Corinna for! But as we were sharing, Corinna mused over how great it was to be able to talk about the last few years, now they are all finished, sharing the good times and the bad and being able to look back knowing that despite what difficulties might have happened, there were some real highlights too and not only do our stories continue but we can also see God so clearly making a path for us through life..

Jessie and Corinna on a bridge by the lake.

Wow, already. Thankful for an incredible start and for the strong friendships I made in Canada that last despite time and distance, and that can be continued in real time this week..Sending love! And hopefully pictures soon!

Dec 9th 2009 (1 year, 27 days)

I didn't write this post this time last year, but December is way too far away and I felt like re-posting this today. It's something I wrote at a time when myself, and a number of girls I knew were struggling with this:

I was talking with a friend last night. And God just got a hold of me and when I got home I started to write. I believe this is truth we all need to hear.

Amongst other things, I’m totally beginning to understand the importance of learning to love myself before I love others. Before I can love another.
My love for God, and desire to know Him more leads me to a place of knowing and finding out just how much He loves me and what that even looks like. I’m stunned by just how much he loves me. And even more so when I realise that He loved me first.
That any thing I do comes out of a response from the fact that He has loved me. He does love me. He will love me.

And it’s hard to love me. Seriously. I know me. I think I know me. And I find me hard to love.
My weight, my skin, my moods, my idiosyncrasies, my thoughts. There are things we all dislike about ourselves sometimes, right?

Sometimes I’m convinced that if other people knew the real me they wouldn’t love me.

But God knows the real me. Better than I do! He made me. Knit me together. Yes, knit me together – what a cliché. But when I think about what that looks like; it’s amazing. Imagine it. He weaved each thread of DNA together in such a way to form this functioning being, this human, this girl that never has been and never will be created ever again. He made me. And you.

And God is a perfectionist.
He’s God! He doesn’t make mistakes.
I have been carefully handcrafted by the most talented artist, sculpture, composer… I am His. He knows me and wants me to know Him. How could I doubt that He loves me?

Well, I’m flawed. Through human-error, not God-error.
And I forget that my worth comes from God – The Almighty, The Creator - and when I start to look for worth in what the world values (looks, nice clothes, guys, sex), that’s where Satan finds his way in and causes me to doubt God’s love for me.
I can hear the deceiver taunt me and begin to stir, as the beautiful girls walk past, when it doesn’t work out with the guy I like, when I crack a joke and no one laughs, when I’m disappointed with what I see in the mirror because I’m 20lbs heavier than I’d like to be…
If I’m not beautiful or funny or talented then I’m not loved. If I’m not making the standard, if the guys don’t like me, if I can’t lose weight - it’s my fault, I just need to try harder, right?

Wrong.

There could never be a more beautiful me. I find it hard to believe it even as I type it out. But I will keep speaking & singing it over myself because I know it’s true, I know I need to hear it. I know that for me, learning to love myself, means learning to accept that I’m already beautiful..

Say it out loud to yourself. Don’t feel stupid. I think you probably need to hear it too.
You are beautiful.

I know that when God made me, when He made you, He had a plan. He didn’t mess up.
And He’s not gonna make me lose weight, or make the guys fall for me, or make sex outside of marriage ‘ok’, just to show me how much he loves me. That’s not love. That’s conforming to the pattern of this world and being sucked in to the distortion that we think love is.
No. Love is wanting the best for me, doing all that can be done to secure a hope and a future for me, helping me to realise my beauty and value and potential.
God loves me. Period.
God loves you. Period.
He wants the best for you, He has secured you a hope and future.
He’s patient and waits with us, cries with us, talks with us, and will continue to do so until our perspective changes. Of ourselves. Of real beauty. Of love.

We are commanded firstly to love God and secondly, to love our neighbour as our self.
As our self. If I don’t love myself, how can I love my neighbour?

I do my best to love my friends and family. To be patient and kind, to not be jealous and proud or self-seeking or count up wrongs etc.
I want to love other people like Jesus has loved me.
I want to love my enemies.
And one day I want to get married and have kids and build my life on and centred around Christ, together with the man I will love.

But honestly, I don’t know how I can try to love any one else, in the way Christ has loved me – without first learning to accept and love myself. As Christ has loved me. I know I can’t properly view other people in the way God does, if I don’t first view myself in the way God does.

Loving myself doesn’t mean being selfish, or self-seeking, or vain or proud. It doesn’t even mean putting myself above others.
But it does mean looking out for and after myself. Accepting that I was made by a divine creator and treating myself with dignity and respect. The way God treats me. After all, I am His.
Loving myself means eating right, and exercising enough. Choosing to not constantly feed my mind the junk that’s on the radio and the fake images of ‘perfection’ in the magazines. Choosing to walk in the way God has for me, trusting that He knows best.

And it means looking for my beauty. My quiet and gentle Spirit that is precious in the sight of God. The me that was so delicately created for a purpose and to reflect God’s beauty and design.
And this requires me to search through all the crap that I’ve collected along the way and begun to call me. And then to let God refine me.
And carry on letting Him do this even though it freakin’ hurts and exposes wounds and hurtful words I’ve carried around as part of my identity.
Letting Him purify me, like gold. And wipe away the rubbish that doesn’t belong.
And letting Him keep doing this for the rest of my life.
Not making me more beautiful. But exposing my beauty. The beauty I already have.
When you find gold, it’s already there, it’s just hidden away. It needs to be purified. I’m not sure if that’s the right word, or if it’s scientifically correct or whatever - but you get me right? Upon extreme heating, it doesn’t become gold - the gold already exists, it’s just becomes pure!

Girl, I know sometimes it’s hard to love yourself. To even know what it means to love yourself. And to be satisfied and content with who you are.
I’m right there with you.

But I know, that if we could even just grasp a tiny part of the reality of what it means TO BE LOVED BY GOD, we wouldn’t be worried about all this stuff and we would know that He already created us beautiful, that He loves us. Oh how He loves us.

We sing that over and over and over again in the song, but we still don’t seem to get it.

If nothing else today, just tell yourself how beautiful you are and how much you are loved by the one who created you and cares for you. And then go from there.

I love you in the way I know how,
Take care beautiful girl x

If you get a chance today, listen to There could never be a more beautiful you by Jonny Diaz, 15 by Taylor Swift